Men are happier than women
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES
. If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. . If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT
. When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. . When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. . A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel . . The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument. . Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. . A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. . A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. . A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. . A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. . Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. .. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it ... and to the men who will enjoy reading it.
Last edited by Fat Bastard : 07-23-2008 at 09:11 PM.
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